What Flavor are You?

I live in the territory of Twins baseball, and one of the things Twins fans are nuttiest about is catcher Joe Mauer, because he is a home-grown player.

So it is not really any surprise when I recently saw that local dairy producer, Kemps, has Mauer endorsing their product.

But I had to laugh when a grocery ad arrived, boasting a sale on “Joe Mauer Ice Cream.” Since no other description was provided, I had to wonder—what flavor did Joe Mauer taste like?

Is he creamy smooth of slow churn with a thick ribbon of carmel? Or is he tangy and crunchy like chocolate chip mint? Or did Kemps devise a flavor as unique as the ballplayer himself?

Which got me to thinking—what flavor am I? If someone like Kemps wanted to make a Chawna Schroeder Ice Cream (okay, okay, you can stop laughing now; it’s just hypothetical, you know), what flavor would I choose?

I’ve finally decided, at least as a writer, I want to be bubble-gum ice cream. Something sweet, something fun, even almost childlike—but with little pockets of stuff to chew on.

Okay. Your turn. If you got to be an ice cream, what would you be? Something familiar? Something completely new? Come on, let's hear about it.

And oh, in case you were wondering, Joe Mauer turned out to be good, ol’ plain vanilla.