Wednesday, December 10, 2008

The Novelist’s 12 Days of Christmas

To be sung (at the top of the lungs) to the tune of “The 12 Days of Christmas”:

On the first day of Christmas I sent to editors The Next Great American Novel.

On the second day of Christmas I sent to editors:
2 manuscripts
And the Next Great American Novel

On the third day of Christmas I sent to editors:
3 Sample chapters
2 manuscripts
And the Next Great American Novel.

On the fourth day of Christmas I sent to editors:
4 Synopses
3 Sample chapters
2 manuscripts
And the Next Great American Novel.

On the fifth day of Christmas I sent to editors:
5 Endorsements
4 Synopses
3 Sample chapters
2 Manuscripts
And my next Great American Novel.

On the sixth day of Christmas I sent to editors:
6 Chapter outlines
5 Endorsements
4 Synopses
3 Sample chapters
2 Manuscripts
And my next Great American Novel.

On the seventh day of Christmas I sent to editors:
7 Book proposals
6 Chapter outlines
5 Endorsements
4 Synopses
3 Sample chapters
2 Manuscripts
And my next Great American Novel.

On the eighth day of Christmas I sent to editors:
8 Cover Letters
7 Book proposals
6 Chapter outlines
5 Endorsements
4 Synopses
3 Sample chapters
2 Manuscripts
And my next Great American Novel.

On the ninth day of Christmas I sent to editors:
9 Good credentials
8 Cover Letters
7 Book proposals
6 Chapter outlines
5 Endorsements
4 Synopses
3 Sample chapters
2 Manuscripts
And my next Great American Novel.

On the tenth day of Christmas I sent to editors:
10 Query letters
9 Good credentials
8 Cover Letters
7 Book proposals
6 Chapter outlines
5 Endorsements
4 Synopses
3 Sample chapters
2 Manuscripts
And my next Great American Novel.

On the eleventh day of Christmas I sent to editors:
11 SASEs
10 Query letters
9 Good credentials
8 Cover Letters
7 Book proposals
6 Chapter outlines
5 Endorsements
4 Synopses
3 Sample chapters
2 Manuscripts
And my next Great American Novel.

On the twelfth day of Christmas editors sent to me:
12 Rejection slips
11 "Keep your day job."
10 Hard critiques
9 "Doesn't meet our needs."
8 Helpful hints
7 "You were close."
6 Encouragements
5 “Let’s have a look!”
4 Competing offers
3 Book contracts
2 Big advances
And a new novel written just by me!

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